I had a horrible day.

It started with some nice yoga. But then things went quickly downhill. I’m translating an awful Indian movie (that’s what I do for a living at this point) and after hours and hours of work, my fingers grew tired and I accidentally hit some key (dunno which one of course) and then the “do you wish to save changes to your document?” – question appeared and then I hit “no”!!! Great! Go figure! I lost maybe 6 or 7 pages. And, you know, I totally lost my temper. First I cried on the balcony. Then I fought with my darling man (although he had absolutely no fault for this), then I stared at the ceiling some more. I thought I was going to throw up, just thinking of what I had to redo. I felt like the world’s most stupid and unconscious person.
Finally, I talked to one of my very best friends on ICQ. She told me how one night, after having written for hours on end on her graduation paper in psychology and being totally overworked, she did just what I had done and, well, she lost 30 pages. Of her diploma work, mind you. Not some stupid translation I can reproduce more or less the same. She lost 30 pages she had thought up all by herself. This is not reproducible, as you might understand.

Well, I stopped feeling awful immediately. There was worse. And she laughed about it. So I was not going to die out of my own stupidity. I must admit, I am tired, too. I translate mechanically. My brain didn’t fully realize what Windows was asking. Do I want to save changes to that document? Eh, what? But, you see, I hit “no”. In a state of complete unawareness, I chose “no”. That’s what I usually do in that state. Why should I want to change something? Yeah.

Conclusion #1: I should rethink my general attitude. Once again. Like, I absolutely haven’t done this 3000 times in the past 3 months.

Conclusion #2: Use the shortcuts. Ctrl+S would have saved me a lot of work.

Conclusion #3: It could always be worse. Really.

Conclusion #4: I should probably find something I enjoy more that translating Indian movies from 1970.

Conclusion #5: I have great friends. I am completely head over heels into them. They know just what to say, just when. Like, I didn’t blow up my hard-drive a day before I had to hand in my graduation paper (with no copy available). See? Nobody died. Not even then.

Conclusion #6: Breathe. Breathe. Keep breathing. Don’t scream. Don’t panic. Don’t hate anyone. Don’t cry. Don’t spoil the day. Just breathe. Start all over. Be patient. Be persistent. And get the work done in no time. For the second time, yeah. But still.

Originally, I wanted to write a Love Thursday post. I wanted to write one in weeks. But I’m definitely too tired. And I have half of the hysterical movie left for tomorrow. Have you ever seen one of those? No, it’s not even Bollywood. It’s like… totally normal to marry your cousin, after you grew up in a brothel and your mother was a prostitute and your father was wealthy, but his family wouldn’t tolerate such a disgrace. And they sing and dance. Half of the time.

I love yoga and many things that come from India. But jeez, spare me the movies.

Have a great day/night, y’all. I might be somewhat more coherent tomorrow.

And, yes, before i forget, I found and loved this.

… consider this at a broader level. When you are trying to take major action in your life, do you lead from the head or from the heart? Do you know how to connect to your heart (which is supported by your center) when making decisions? Or do you prefer to analyze and ruminate and plan with the “small” mind? Small mind loves to think and hates to do what actually matters. Small mind prefers to come up with reasons to wait until a better time to get started, or to do what pleases others instead of your centered self.

I’ll leave you with that. Think about it.