It’s another wave of synchronicity, circling around our little community. Although it has different faces for everyone, identification is something we all stumble upon once in a while. It doesn’t matter whether we identify ourselves with our social status, our career or just some character traits, we inevitably end up wondering what is wrong with us, because there IS something wrong.
It’s one of life’s lessons to teach us awareness, openness and acceptance. It’s not necessarily an easy lesson to learn. Although one gets better in time. So last time I caught myself phrasing “I would never…”, I already knew there is trouble to come.
We are such small and fragile beings, how can we dare measure with the infinity of universal diversity? I am/I am not/I will never sounds like a joke, plain and simple. First of all, a day later, an hour, a month from saying that, we’re not the same person anymore. How can this other, different person account for the promises we once made? Stating what we are and what we are not, we close the opportunity to evolve. We close the door to exploration what life is, in its sense of entirety. And since God, the Universe, whatever does not endure stagnation, we are bound to fail. Once we have impudently closed that door, we are bound to collide and suffer, until we are aware to see where we did wrong.
Why is there a need to define ourselves? Well, mostly, it’s a need for external validation. We want to be liked and approved of. We want to impress others. We want to feel morally or worldly superior to them. We want to live a life that’s secure and foreseeable. We want to have something to hold on to, even if it’s only words. We want to put things into tiny little boxes, so that there is order.
But it never is that simple. There is no growth in definitive things. In order to become whole, we need to change and grow, we need to break up those secure patterns and open for the unknown. We need to be vulnerable, not a stupefied version of ourselves. And if we are audacious enough to bestow rules upon God’s ways (which, remember, are mysterious), we will pay our price. Eventually, we will end up wiser, but the price is a great deal of pain.
Pain, that comes from our effort to control and from clinging to what we think is a secure ground. Letting go is painful and we wouldn’t have to go through all of this, if we hadn’t become attached in the first place. Whatever we think we are, it’s just a momentary frame. It’s just one part of the whole, the part we are inclined to see, the part we are able to see Here and Now. It means there is another part we don’t like and we want to be spared the experience of getting to know it. It’s airs and graces 
The universal order does not really care about our preferences.
Remember Jesus? He, who asked the Father to let this cup pass from Him? The cup, he drank after all… Who are we, to measure up to Him?
Yeah.
Just never say never.
